As The Big Trip plans start to take shape some things have to come to end:
My first Glasto was around '97 I think - I had two broken ribs and a few stitches in my elbow from a motorbike accident I had had earlier that week.
After a few years break I returned in 2008 with my, then, 18 month old daughter and my, now ex, husband (arrived 2 days late with an elbow injury of his own).
Glasto 2013 with my, now, 7.5 year old daughter has been as exciting and adventurous as previous years but is especially noticeable as it will be our last.
At least until after The Big Trip - budget simply cannot accomodate the expense.
This year's unexpected delights, disasters and plain shockers seem mainly toilet based for some strange reason. Where to go, how to go, how to breathe when going, what accoutrements are required to go successfully are the usual FAQ of the festy virgin and the festy ohmygodisimplycouldn't brigade.
I have amusing memories of my little West London girl trilling "is that a drop bog mummy?" as we queued by the portaloos in the camping field. Five minutes later I was standing her in the corner instructing "do NOT touch ANYTHING" whilst I hurriedly did what I had to do. Year 1, nappies where a boon.
Year 2 I had a nightmare that she fell into a long drop bog and I had to dive in after her - I vowed she would never go in one. In fact, that very year, she did and had child protection services been on hand they would have seen the imprints of my fingers left from my vice like grip around her upper arms!
This year the She-Pee Area has joined the Compost Bog as Glasto's new toilet attractions. We tried both with mixed results.
The Compost Bog was quite boring really - somewhat of an anti-climax to us having frequented eco campsites quite a bit over the years.
The She-Pee gets the vote for quickest, least smelly and frankly the weirdest experience yet. The terrible dread it will all go wrong and you will have an accident of epic proportions - quite sufficient to banish any remembered trauma of childhood - coupled with the sight of a line of women's bottoms partially exposed whilst they hunch over the urinal jars the mind somewhat.
Don't get me wrong, I think the concept is brilliant and I loved the liberation and speed and I was grateful for the fresh air. But I still couldn't quite reconcile the activity to the gender, and whilst I will likely use a She-Pee again I am not sure I will ever get used to it!
As regards the disasters and the shockers, I feel I have probably traumatised you enough and whilst it was our last Glasto it'll be someone's first and I'd hate to put you off!
Driver & Author